Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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