i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
