He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
