you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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