Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
