My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
