hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
