He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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