i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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