my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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