I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
