I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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