Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize