mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
