Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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