you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
