We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
