Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
