Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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