That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize