Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
