i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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