But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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