I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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