My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
