if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
