PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
