Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize