not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
