Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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