I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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