respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
