Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
