I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
