cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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