If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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