she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
