Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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