if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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