I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
