alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
