dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
