I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
