I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
