i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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