Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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