it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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