You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is my life. Enjoy the view
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
