yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
