I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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