Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
