I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
