ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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