Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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