I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
