I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
