The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
