DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Never let your siblings swipe right.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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