Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
