How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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