He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
