she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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