If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
