I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
