barbara walters just said penis...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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