So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
