Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
