Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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