It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
