it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This house was built for laser tag.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
