Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
